Be strong and courageous........

I don't know who reads these blogs but I do know that GOD and my Mom read them and that is all that matters.

Back to what is on my mind,

"I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy,
To be calm when you've found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything you've got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not." 
  -From the song "Father and Son" by Cat Stevens


I received a phone call earlier tonight from a young man that I am extremely close to, I wasn't able to take the call as I was not home. It hurt to know that I missed his call, the thought of him needing me and I wasn't there, hurt me.

It got me to thinking about the times when I want to be a Dad and even a father. All of the other times I could care less. I love kids, not in a weird way, but they are incredible. The wife and I are very blessed to have so many wonderful kids/young adults in our life. From Kaige and Harper all the way to the older young adults in the Sweetly Broken Youth group, we are blessed. We know in our life we are called to be youth leaders, we just know it.

The strong relationship that I have with a select few kids is special to me, I'm not any of these kids Dad or father but I love them as if they were my kids. My stepfather Bill, the man who is my Dad, my father, came into my life when I was 13, almost 14 years old. He is the man that I state as my Father, not "this is my step dad Bill", simply this is my Dad and that's that. He was the man and still is the only man to ever truly love my mom. He is my Dad.

The man I aspire to be is a GODly man, a man of GOD. Yes, when I see my brother in law with his son or when I see my brother and sister in law with their little girl or one of my co-workers talks about his children with such joy and happiness in his eyes it makes me want to have a baby with Tiffany. Then I see some kids out and about and I thank GOD that I'm not their Dad. It may sound selfish to some but I pray for GOD's will in my life and if GOD's will is for us to have a child then so be it.

However, I am thankful for the true bond that I have with Josh and Colton. Yes, I have a great relationship with the other kids, boys and girls but we have a bond of a Father/son without actually being related. Of course, they have their own Dad's/Fathers and I understand that. But just like a proud parent I pray for them to continue to seek GOD, seek out his will and to be happy and successful so much more than I am. That is the point I believe. I've planted the seed that will hopefully one day grown inside of them for them to be Men of GOD not just young men. I often think that they will grow up and forget about me, that hurts, it truly does. I want to be a Dad but I don't want to at the same. It's confusing in my head, I ALWAYS go to GOD when I have doubt, in the end it will all work out. I have to be strong in my faith and courageous in my passion for GOD's will.


Maybe I should have been home and answered the phone call then I wouldn't have been thinking so much and I wouldn't be writing this blog when I should be in bed.

Either way, Thank you GOD for all of you blessings and all of those that you have placed in my path. Let my light shine so that they see you and not me. Never me, just you Lord!

"My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline
and do not resent his rebuke,
because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in."     
            --Proverbs 3:11-12

Love,
Aaron